Hey guys, welcome to the Unshakable Man Podcast: A show and community for men who want to be their best emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual versions of themselves. This show is in the category of mental awareness and we discuss the culture of overachieving and how it impacts our mind and body.
Our guest today is the mentor and guide Booth Andrews who focuses on helping burned out, stressed individuals to slow down, and adopt a healthier mindset around their responsibilities. Booth and Chris Wilson discuss the problem of living to work, the consequences of burnout and ignoring the signs, being internally disassociated, confronting your pain, the difference between force and power, and more.
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This might be for you if:
- You are a high-achiever who struggles to find balance in your life.
- You have suffered burnout and struggle to reconnect with your emotions.
- You have experienced childhood trauma that has left you numb.
- You desire a greater sense of inner calm and to rise above your circumstances.
- You are ready to give up the rat race and be more present in your life.
Resources:
Books:
Authors/Creators:
We talk about:
- Inner peace amid outer chaos.
- Dreams and being dissatisfied with your present reality.
- Living to work versus working to live.
- The manifestations of burnout.
- The consequences of physical and emotional strain.
- Being integrated versus disassociated.
- Modern conceptions of productivity.
- Sitting with and confronting your pain.
- What the world needs to heal physically and emotionally.
- The long-term impact of stress on the body and mind.
- The difference between force and power.
Key Points From This Episode:
- The idea that you can be peaceful regardless of the chaos around you. [0:03:43]
- Our dreams can be a safe space but also make us dissatisfied with our present reality. [0:04:45]
- Booth talks about how her former stressful work-life impacted her mental health. [0:06:41]
- Chris shares what the pandemic revealed to him about himself and his personal development. [0:08:22]
- Observing the living to work (instead of working to live) pattern many people in modern society are stuck in. [0:10:45]
- The period in Booth’s life of having the bottom drop out and wanting to give up on life. [0:13:04]
- The power of letting go of the preconceived ideas you have about yourself and starting at ground zero. [0:14:47]
- How putting a physical and emotional strain on our bodies can be either constructive or destructive. [0:18:34]
- The tendency for overachievers to ignore the signs of burnout and keep pushing for the reward. [0:19:44]
- Understanding that we can perform at high levels while being fully integrated (constructive) or disassociated (destructive). [0:21:59]
- Booth talks about believing that she could not afford to slow down and renegotiate responsibilities. [0:24:33]
- Chris talks about what happens to men when the hardness is transformed into softness and they become vulnerable. [0:27:17]
- Rethinking your to-do list and your perceptions of what a productive day looks like. [0:29:41]
- The idea that you can be a top performer yet not be present and connected to yourself and your life. [0:34:10]
- Booth talks about learning through childhood trauma that showing emotion was a weakness. [0:36:29]
- The positive effect of finally sitting in your pain and confronting the unpleasant feelings.[0:39:15]
- Hear how the masculine achiever-type is indoctrinated by the ego to prevent a person from feeling hurt. [0:41:04]
- The difficulties lying ahead for people who have experienced massive shifts in the pandemic and what the world needs to heal. [0:45:45]
- A quote from Ruby Wax about what prolonged stress does to our nervous systems. [0:49:30]
Tweetables:
“This isn’t just about being a man or a woman that a lot of the challenges that we have tapped into today have come from being an achiever and from existing in that culture of achievement, and that gets us to someplace, that is where we get to. Then there is an opportunity in that painful, challenging, scary scenario of falling from that peak.” — Chris Wilson [0:54:08]
“I spent a lot of time and energy channeling those dreams into reality, which, in one way, is an incredible gift. At the same time, it was an indicator that I wasn’t satisfied with my current circumstances. I was not able to be present in today, because I spent all of my time and energy trying to create a future that felt safer somehow.” — @theboothandrews [0:05:01]
“That integration piece is so important because we can perform at incredible levels being fully integrated. We can also perform being fully disassociated and push ourselves to the point of complete physical, mental, and emotional breakdown.” — @theboothandrews [0:21:59]
“When you fashion yourself a superhero, everybody thinks you’re a superhero. It takes them time to adjust to the idea that you are also human and vulnerable, and that you need support.” — @theboothandrews [0:25:48]
“When we learn to sit in our own pain and with our own pain, we realize how powerful we really are. To your point, it’s a completely different power. It’s a power that allows us to stay grounded, even in the midst of a global pandemic, and in the midst of uncertainty and in the midst of shifting sands, because we know that no matter what happens, we can survive it.” —@theboothandrews [0:40:00]
“Force and power are two different things. Power is generative. Force is standing up and being smacked by the wave. Then having to hold the wave back, but you can’t hold the wave back. It breaks your back. Power is being able to fall into the wave and surf the wave, or body surf and then walk out of the water and onto the beach and be a part of the water and the beach.” — Chris Wilson [0:41:42]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
The Freedom from Empty Podcast