Hey guys, welcome to the Unshakable Man Podcast: A show and community for men who want to be their best emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual versions of themselves. This show is in the category of emotional awareness, and we discuss taking responsibility for becoming emotionally connected to yourself and others and making the necessary changes.
Chris Wilson talks to Zach Bishop about his emotional awareness transformation over the last five years. Zach discusses how his reconnection with himself changed his relationships with his partner and son for the better and allowed him to experience his emotions more constructively.
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This might be for you if:
- You need guidance on how to start tapping into emotional awareness.
- Your relationships have suffered because of your inability to connect with yourself.
- You want to move beyond surface-level emotions to get to the real issues.
- You struggle to differentiate between your thinking and observing self.
- You seek breakthrough and authentic connection in your relationships.
Resources:
Books:
We talk about:
- Being disconnected from your emotions.
- Creating a safe container for personal growth.
- The gift of wanting to confront yourself.
- Taking responsibility for the change that needs to happen.
- Dropping out of story and observing your emotions.
- How emotional awareness transforms relationships.
- The limitations of the nonviolent communication tool.
- Where our aversion to demonstrations of anger comes from.
- The difference between the thinking and observing self.
Key Points From This Episode:
- Zach talks about his motivation for getting started in men’s work. [0:01:16]
- How curiosity led Zach to continue pursuing the work after he felt better physically. [0:02:27]
- Being surprised by the compounding effect of personal growth and the different levels at which it happens. [0:04:16]
- The tendency for men to be disconnected from themselves and their emotions. [0:06:08]
- Zach shares how his partner held space for him and made him feel safe as he was learning to engage with his feelings. [0:07:41]
- Realizing that he needed to want to change to save himself and his marriage. [0:09:03]
- The gift of coming to a place of confronting your feelings instead of building stories around your experiences. [0:11:58]
- How your insecurities and fears become your biggest obstacles to growth and successful relationships. [0:13:55]
- While the same emotions are still present, they are no longer the same experience. [0:15:18]
- Learning to accept himself and overcoming patterns of negative self-talk. [0:17:23]
- Dropping out of story and ‘being’ your emotions to instead sit with and inspect them more objectively. [0:20:23]
- Zach shares how his relationships with himself and his partner have changed since he started engaging with his emotions. [0:21:09]
- How arguments are often a reflection of what is going on beneath the surface at an emotional level. [0:25:24]
- Nonviolent communication tools can get in the way of us being real and breaking through in meaningful ways. [0:26:01]
- Hear how ‘fixing’ the problem or pain only happens after the emotional work has been done. [0:30:10]
- Words of advice for men who are too afraid to do what they know they should do to be better connected. [0:33:24]
- The value of pausing and asking, ‘What is there here to teach me, and what is my intention with this?’ [0:37:03]
- Our tendency to want to diffuse anger because we are taught that it is a dangerous emotion. [0:39:41]
- Zach talks about how he and his partner have managed to dig deeper than the surface-level emotions in their relationship. [0:41:33]
- Understanding that you are not the voice in your head but the one hearing that voice. [0:44:40]
- How emotional awareness and men’s work could change your relationship with your kids. [0:48:50]
Tweetables:
“I was not in touch with my feelings at all; not even a little. It was so foreign to me to think about what I was feeling. A lot of us men have been told that feelings are for women or feelings are weak – vulnerability is weakness.” — Zach Bishop [0:06:10]
“I think this is still one of the preeminent things that come up in our men’s groups, comes up with me in coaching, comes up with me in my own relationship: This idea that I can’t change you and you can’t change me but I can take responsibility for myself.” — Chris Wilson [0:09:56]
“Now I can see when or where and why I am getting triggered and when these defense mechanisms come up – it’s very powerful for me because I have hidden from my emotions for so long that this whole awareness of my emotions is totally new and has transformed my relationship with myself greatly.” — Zach Bishop [0:16:49]
“I think deep down we all know that we are holding something back. When you are lying down in bed and you have had your day, I think you know what you didn’t do in certain moments that you could have done but you were too afraid to do. I think you know if you just think about it.” — Zach Bishop [0:33:24]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
The Unshakable Man on Instagram
EVRYMANThis might be for you if:
- You need guidance on how to start tapping into emotional awareness.
- Your relationships have suffered because of your inability to connect with yourself.
- You want to move beyond surface-level emotions to get to the real issues.
- You struggle to differentiate between your thinking and observing self.
- You seek breakthrough and authentic connection in your relationships.
Resources:
Books:
We talk about:
- Being disconnected from your emotions.
- Creating a safe container for personal growth.
- The gift of wanting to confront yourself.
- Taking responsibility for the change that needs to happen.
- Dropping out of story and observing your emotions.
- How emotional awareness transforms relationships.
- The limitations of the nonviolent communication tool.
- Where our aversion to demonstrations of anger comes from.
- The difference between the thinking and observing self.
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Download the full PDF transcript of this episode.
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